I suppose you can disregard my last woe-is-me post from the other day. I went back to work for one day and then made a very abrupt decision to stay at home for a while. Not sure how long that will be. We just know it was the right decision for our family. Everything happens for a reason really. God knows the big picture and He has always provided for us in the past and I have no doubt in my mind that He will continue to show Himself to us as long as we keep our focus on Him. I don't know how people live without a relationship with Christ. How can anyone get through the day without faith? My heart hurts for them.
Being the number cruncher I am (I get that from my dad), I'm sure I will write and rewrite every thing I can think of in every way possible in order to see a glimmer of hope that yes, we can do this. I already called and cut off cable and just kept internet which saved quite a bit. The only shows we watch are either on CBS.com or Netflix so that works for us. We've been without cable for several days now and don't miss it at all. Then because of a couple of mess ups from Verizon, we will now save $50 a month on that bill for a year. Any little bit helps, right?
The other day, I found myself sitting at a local coffee shop with my 8-week old baby in a carseat asleep beside me and one week before Christmas, feeling blessed and a burden lifted off of me. I am grateful to get a little extra time with him. I don't know how long that time will last... it could be a couple of weeks or it could be a lot longer (God willing) but I will appreciate every moment. I have lots of thoughts and plans rolling through my head (when do I not?) but I'm going to take it slow and not rush into any decisions.
I have to take a second and say that I truly have the best husband ever. He's been the biggest supporter and I really don't know what I would do without him. He works so hard to provide for our family... full time and part time a couple of nights but he's still willing to discuss the possibility of my staying at home with Maddox. I consider that, in itself, gracious and selfless and I appreciate him so very much.
I know my faith will be tested over the next period of time and things could get really hard (harder than they've already been) but I know I will look back over this time and see God's hand in it all. And because of that, I will be a stronger person and I will be a living testimony of what can happen when you put your trust in Christ alone.