Monday, May 6, 2013

Monday Monday....

I'm not a huge fan of Mondays....but then again...who is??  I went to the beach this weekend with my friend Kristy.  We had a good time despite the icky weather.  She got me back in town just in time for volleyball Sunday :)  Darren and I play in a co-ed volleyball league at our church on Sundays.  It's a lot of fun.  The season hasn't started yet so we are just having open gym.  So we played about 2.5 hours of volleyball straight yesterday...one game right after the other.  My calves are SO tight and sore from all the bouncing around and jumping.  Whew. 

I didn't work out at all last week.  I wasn't feeling well and I'm not going to beat myself up over it.  I'm just going to jump back in the game this week and remember today is a new day.  Boxing tonight!  I'm probably going to be so sore again I can't move lol  oh well!  I have to build endurance somehow.

I scheduled my first counseling session for next Tuesday.  I'm nervous but I'm also looking forward to it.  I've just been dealing with so much stuff inside that I just can't take it anymore and need to get some help.  I mean....I don't feel suicidal or anything so don't get me wrong but depression runs on both sides of my family and I'd rather not go down that dark hole myself.  I've just got to work through some negative self-image stuff and maybe some other issues that are there and I don't really realize it.  I'm seeing a Christian counselor which is important to me.  As a Christian, I'm having a harder time knowing that I feel this way because my first reaction is that maybe I don't have enough faith or trust in God to get through this on my own (with His help obviously).  But I can't let myself feel that way and I'm hoping she will be able to help me through that part too.

On a happy note....I'm down 38lbs.  It's starting to feel not real to me.  I've got to start working hard on my fitness so I can really start toning as I'm losing more so when I look in the mirror, I actually feel like I look like I've lost that much.  Other people have commented but darn this self-image....it's hard to take a compliment.  I guess I just automatically assume people are just trying to be nice because they know I had the surgery and am trying hard to do well.  I really need to get over that.  Geez.  However, I'm starting to feel pretty "frumpy" at work.  My pants are falling off of me.  Which yes, this is a good thing but not when you don't have a lot of money to go out and buy clothes.  I'm going to my parents this weekend and hoping my mom can work some wonders and take these babies in several inches so I can wear them for a while longer without looking ridiculous or needing suspenders lol

Well that was just a whole bunch of randomness.  I'll try to get it together next time :)

2 comments:

  1. Awesome! 38 is big, you are so close to the 40lbs mark! WOOT!!!!

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  2. Thanks Tamzin :) I'm trying to remind myself not to compare myself to others that may be losing faster. I'm very happy with the success I've had so far.

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